I’m doing The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. We are on week 6, money. Until I started this chapter I thought I had healthy views on money. I thought working hard would result in compensation. What shocked the crap out of me was the hidden ideas I had, the ones I held in my subconscious.
Doing the exercises made me realize that I equate money with unhappiness, and greed and unauthentic people. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think wealthy people are like this, or at least not all of them. I just equate having money myself with all that. Why do you ask? Because that’s what I’ve been shown in my life.
I had to either be in control of the money and fight constantly with my ex, or give up control and have a peaceful life.. Granted that peaceful life cost me financially…. and I ended up losing the marriage also… thank God.
Years of this kind of conditioning left a mark on my subconscious. No wonder no amount of feung shui, or OT or praying lead to the situation easing. I subconsciously pushed away money and opportunities to make more.
I have just made this realization, and am working through journaling to get rid of this mark that’s undoubtedly holding me back.