My sister made a post yesterday about how it’s been 17 months since our mom died. Since that time, she’s had a baby, lost a kidney to cancer and survived said cancer. She was saying how it seems so long, yet really 17 months is nothing.
It feels like 3 lifetimes, yet I remember it like yesterday.
My daughter and I were talking about it. Two years ago, I separated from my husband of 13 years. We had dated for 4 years prior to marrying. Looking back it feels like a different person contains those memories.
It’s exhausting to think about the spiral of emotions I’ve had since the separation. The hope that we would reconcile, the realization it was broken, my moms death. The information that comes out after a divorce. A new baby, hearing my younger sister has cancer… And it could be hereditary.
I have become a totally different person in the process. More accurately, I found the person that had ceased to be a few years in to the marriage.
I’m working on not allowing my traumas these past couple years to take away my empathy for others. It’s very simple to say “at least you don’t have to deal with ……..).
I constantly remind myself that every persons battles are new for them. That I don’t know every part of every story.
Of all the things I’ve lost, empathy is the one thing I will never let go of. Without empathy, I become a horrible person.
With that said, I have learned that judging others is the most destructive thing you can do to yourself. It makes you more of a victim, more of a martyr, more of a jerk.
Instead, let your empathy strengthen you. Let it help everyone to find the silver lining, or to know when nothing needs to be said and all that’s needed is a hug.