The Illusion of Control

I’ve been journaling for 9 weeks now as part of The Artists Way by Julia Cameron.  This week I was told to re read all my morning pages.  I did as I was told, because I’ve learned she’s always right… Even when I think she’s wrong… And I was struck by what seemed so obvious, but had escaped me for so long.

I’m not in control of my life.  Whether I obsess or let go, things basically turn out the same.  Now of course, I am in control of my choices, so that I take the proper steps.  But I’m only able to control that small aspect of my life.  I can’t worry so much that it keeps things from happening, and I can’t attract things by just being positive… I have to just be.

Every morning page I OCD’d about money.  That didn’t gain me more money.  That didn’t pay my bills.  It did nothing but make me annoying to myself, and very likely, to my fiance.  If anything, it pushed away opportunity.  The law of attraction states that what ever you focus on expands.  So by stressing on money, I’m shown all sorts of ways that I lack money.

The pattern that emerged was that on mornings where I was up beat and positive, good days followed.  Good things happened.  On days where I was down and negative… Bad things happened… In other words, my perspective tinted the day.  But over all… My obsessing did nothing to change the the situations.

I have been listening to Ajahn Brahm talks on YouTube… He tells a great story about two chicken farmers.

One goes in to the coup and collects all the produce from the day before.  He fills his basket with all the chicken shit.  Takes it in to the house and leaves the eggs to spoil.  His family stays hungry and the house stinks.

The other farmer, goes in to the coup and collects the eggs, and then scoups the poop into his garden and tills it in.  His family had a wonderful breakfast, they sell the excess for cash and his garden does wonderfully.

In the end, you can only control what you choose to harvest from life.  Every day you have good and bad things happen.  These things just happen.  They aren’t precursors to the future.   They are portents.

If you choose to use everything you are handed , you are more likely to profit from all of it.  If you harvest the shit.. Well… Ewww

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