Let Go

I’ve recently realized I was harboring a thought that if my ex moved on and was happy, it would hurt.  Mind you this was an unconscious thought.  It came to me in the middle of the night.  As soon as I found it, I got rid of it like that nasty sippy cup you find under the car seat.  You don’t examine it, you just get rid of it.

It’s come to my attention that this allowed him a link in to my mind. It gave him power.  Power that he somehow knew he had.

Today I was validated that it was gone.

He is the cosigner on my car.  We bought it after the divorce, my mom had cancer, and my little electric car just wasn’t going to do it.  Being that our divorce was amicable, he co signed.

Fast forward three years, and that amicable divorce has become contentious (I started dating someone who I’m now engaged to and very happy with.

His refusal to sign off means that I may have to turn in my lease.  My lease that I’m over on miles with.  Meaning I will have to sign a check for approximately $3000.  I won’t be able to roll it in, I will have to pay it.

His refusal would have scared and devastated me in the past.  Today, about 10 other ways it will be “ok” came to mind IMMEDIATELY.  I told him he needs to let go of his hate, that it was only hurting him and the kids.

I have no doubt he will come to his right mind.  After all, he works in the business, and now everyone in his dealership, and the one I was at, know how petty he is being.

But you know what?  I revel in the fact that I”m not even remotely upset or scared.  I love that I actually responded “lol”.  And not sarcastically, I really found it funny.

So if you are harboring hate for an ex, or really anyone, let it go.  It’s ONLY hurting you.  Your cells are dying and mutating from your hate.  You are literally poisoning yourself and your relationships.  Likely, the other person, the one you hate, is actually benefiting in some way.  The universe sends more of the same, so whatever you harbor, expands.  If you harbor hate, you will have more reasons to hate.

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