I just realized that if I treated my fiancé the way I treat money, he would run screaming from the controlling, abusive woman he thought was charming.
I fret over money more than anything else. I want things split evenly. I want budgets and guidelines and prospective numbers. I pretend to show gratitude when checking my bank account, daily, but really I’m basically checking my significant others texts on their phone.
From here forward, I’m not going to track every penny I spend, vs what my fiancé contributes. I’m not going to worry about how much is in my savings, 401k, and checking. I’m going to do basic bookkeeping, but without the controlling aspect.
I’m not going to divide how much I spend per kid. Nor am I going to worry about the treat my youngest wants. I’m going to live.
When we used to all keep checkbooks we had a much healthier relationship with our money. We knew what was coming in, what was going out and if checks had cleared. Now everything is so fast paced that we check our bank accounts 4x a day. Worry about whether we figured in an auto pay or if our bill was too high.
We need to take a step back, take away as many auto pays as we can, and streamline our bill paying. All these imaginary hands grabbing out of our accounts doesn’t make OUR lives simpler. It makes us neurotic.
I recently took an online course about all the dangers of banking online. And honestly, it scared me and made me even more controlling over my money.
What you resist, persists. What you focus on, grows. If you continually order bad things from the universe, that’s what it delivers. Like the McDonalds drivethru.. you (usually) get exactly what you order.
So if we are keeping a choke hold on our accounts, constantly anticipating bad, we are opening ourselves to more cyber attacks, more invisible hands reaching in and taking, and more neurosis centered around lack.
Set one day a week to pay bills. Make it a peaceful time of day, and be grateful you can pay them. Look over the bill to make sure they are accurate and pay them with gratitude.
Eliminate as many auto deductions as possible. Opt for online bill pay instead, where you initiate the payment. This will keep you in charge, without making you feel like you need to micro manage.
And in the end, stop stressing. Good things happen, so do bad. But focusing on how to keep one step in front of the bad only detracts from the good. Live in the present with the full knowledge that you can weather any storm. That people will help you, and that the universe loves you.