Soul mate

This big goofy mug makes my soul smile. He drives me insane, embarrasses me on walks when he sees another dog and has pulled my shoulder out of socket.  He has also cost me a ton of money in food and vet bills.  But ya know what? I wouldn’t trade it. 

I also share him with my ex.  I refuse to give him up.  He is one of the kids.  He travels with them.  

Someone asked what I was thankful for today in one of my groups and I posted him.  My kids are an obvious, plus I don’t post their pics.  But this guy.  

Few times in your live does an animal bind with you.  I’ve had him, and my cat CJ. Both will go down in my animal hall of fame. 


What you resist persists—Eckhart Tolle

I’m not sure if he was the first to say it, but that’s who I remember saying it, and where it finally made sense.

If you wake up saying “what fresh hell will today bring”. The universe will gladly show you.  “How much more insane can xyz person be?”  The universe will show you.

Resistance is a form of force.  It takes a lot of energy.  The universe is annoyingly literal.  It’s like Sheldon, it doesn’t grasp sarcasm.

So… instead, think of manifesting like moving your hand.  Your mind sends impulses that tell your nervous system to move your hand.  Voila!  Your hand moves.  You don’t sarcastically tell your hand to move and expect your foot to.  Manifesting isn’t any different.

We tend to be “cautious” when we really want something.  Not wanting to get our hopes up.  But that tells the universe we aren’t really into whatever “it” is.  We are like that guy you met online,who’s not responding, but seemed totally in to the date.  Mixed signals.  So you know what?  Grow a pair and be excited.

Don’t worry about all the details, those will fall in place.  See yourself in that new job, see yourself in that new relationship.  See yourself happy…. that’s the key.  If you are happy, yo are so much more valuable to the universe.  Be happy and excited, and it will all fall in to place.

Otherwise you are no better than Mr Wishy Washy. 

What if instead of thinking we can fortell the future, we realize we are manifesting it with our thoughts?  So if we predict things will go well they will!  Instead of trying to predict they won’t go our way, then living that self fulfilling profecy.  

Time Outs

I’ve been working hard at raising my vibe, staying positive, helping others and really keeping myself from the negative habits I fall in to on occasion.

I reached a point in my newest book where I have daily assignments.  And this is perfect.  It means I HAVE to slow down and just reflect. And I’m going to take this time to let the dust settle.

I’ve realized one of my biggest frustrations at work is how much they push push push for answers, which means no time to just let things settle.  Lots of work exerted when if they’d allow a little more flow, things would fall in to place. I’ve realized I’m doing this in my spiritual practice.  

I’m reading everything I can get my hands on, without taking the time to really let the lessons sink in.  While I’m making great strides, I think slowing down is necessary.  Like at my work, if I just let things flow a little more, the road will be less rocky.

So this next ten days, I’m going to sit back and read my “Cat Who” books and relax.  I have a few exciting changes coming (fingers crossed), and I’m going to just keep my vibe high, rather than try to play psychic manifester making it happen. 


The message “Believe in yourself” has been coming through loud and clear lately. 

I realized a few months ago that my self esteem had not quite kept up with the giant leaps forward my life had taken since my divorce. All good things were happening, but my self empowerment was weak, because I didn’t feel good about myself.  I felt unlovable.

Now to be clear, I didn’t feel unlovable with family, friends or my fianc√©.  But at work I was being taken advantage of and I was miserable.  I was so down I couldn’t even write a resume for myself.  And the one I did write was pretty weak.  

When I meet with people I make an amazing impression, by I just couldn’t write the resume that got me the interview. 

A friend of mine recently left his job to go back to school, and recommended me for the position.  I just had my second interview and I’m praying I get the job.

Last night I had a dream where I was there, at my desk.  I knew I was dreaming, but I also knew at that moment, it wasn’t a dream, I was there.

Today I’m burning sage, did a salt burn in a part of my house that kept coming to mind as needing it, and I’ve mopped the floors.  Fingers and toes crossed. 

But the fact is, I’ve already been given a big gift.  I see myself as deserving, and can now take the steps to improve my resume and get the interviews for the job that is perfect for me!

Tears are a great form of detox

I have had a rough couple weeks.  Balling at work.  Not a tear prettily running down my cheek…. oh no…. hiccup crying…. ugly crying.  Why?  Because my boss is an asshole.

Now I love this man as a person.  I love the vision and am proud of what he’s done.  I’m proud of the charitable acts he’s done.  But when it comes to his employees…. he sucks.  

I asked for a raise.  Told me he couldn’t afford it, then hired someone to do some of my job at double my salary.  Not even the hard parts.  That person was a man…..  granted he’s now been fired… but that’s not the point.

I’ve realized that I accept “gifts” from the universe openly on things my mom used to help me with.  Relationships, real estate… friends.  But she never helped me with jobs.  Other than to tell my my dream jobs wouldn’t make much, she never asked a friend to help, never told me to go after my dreams, pushed me to get a job that got me off her balance sheet, regardless of how shitty the job was.

Now, I’m not blaming her.  From that, I learned to hustle and work my ass off. I didn’t feel entitled to promotions, or good jobs.  That shit was EARNED!!! But, it made me a people pleaser.  Which people like my boss take advantage off.

I’ve come to realize that I block help when itt comes to my career, and I’ve taken steps to stop that.  I’ve asked for referrals, I’ve used people as references and I have a second interview that is very promising.  I’m making progress.

But now that my eyes are open, I can’t handle this shit at work.  I can’t tolerate it anymore.  I’ve kept a stiff upper lip too long and the facade is cracking.  It may be too late, because now I seem insane.  But what the hell. Anything is better than having to meditate just to force yourself out of your car.

I am deserving 

I’m working on this.  It’s been about 6 years since I realized I lost my muchiness.  In that time, I’ve turned my life upside down.  And now I have one last step.  A new job.

I have an interview next week and I have a foot in the door.  My inner critic keeps coming up with the lamest excuses why this won’t work out. All of them are just stupid and clearly my ego worrying about failure.

But my friend is the one who referred me to his former job (he is going back to school).  He has no doubt I’ll be great at this job.  That it will be a perfect fit.

So ya know what?  I’m gonna shut up, and get out of my way.  Life isn’t meant to be lived paycheck to paycheck.  I haven’t had a raise in 5 years.  I deserve this. 


This is my favorite meme. I have had it as my wall paper many times.  Why?  Because it’s true.  You have an equal chance of either, so focus on flying.

A year and a half ago I didn’t know what to do.  All I was, was a big ball of anxiety.  I worked and worked to quiet my mind and I kept hearing it.  “Have faith”.  Anytime I asked “what should I do, I’d hear “have faith”.  It was everywhere.

Finally, I took the advice.  I had faith.  I said yes.  I stopped worrying.  I believed people wanted to help.  And guess what.

I made STRIDES.  Things fell in my lap.  Life was easy.  Choices were obvious.  So try it.  Have faith.  Say yes.  Assume people are for you, not against you.  Get out of your way, and let yourself fly!!


Today I traded in the car that my ex refused to sign off on. No, he didn’t change his mind, but I called a local dealer and found an old friend. 

She knew some tricks and got me out!  Yes, I had to turn the lease in which carries penalties, but they gave me extra cash to help with that.

Believe miracles can happen, ask for help, follow what your gut says. 

Small things

Today wasn’t awesomeZ. Came home to my cat pooping in the kitchen… her literbox is not in the kitchen and the window on the car I borrowed breaking.  But it ended with a phone interview, Oreo cookies and an unexpected visit with my dad.


I’m reading this book and I just realized why I catapulted in my spirituality to where I am now.  I’m not perfect, but I took huge leaps very quickly and it all became clear on page 94. 

Deepak talks about how you can stop being ruled by self image, which causes you to become Unable to live in present reality. Self image is an accumulation of the past decisions you have made.  Therefore, letting that go is essential to move forward.

After my divorce and my moms death, every title I held was stripped away.  Mother, daughter, wife, lover,  50’s housewife, perfect.  That last one is a big one.

I had failed.  

And to fail means I’m no longer tied to being perfect.  And you know what?  I survived.  Once I realized I survived, I realized I THRIVED!  From there it snowballed.  

He keeps talking about “who am I” and the common answers.  I realized I couldn’t really relate to his lectures about this, because I didn’t do this anymore.

I have three kids.  But I’m not entangled with that as my image.  One checked box on our divorce paperwork ripped that away from me.  It took me a year to reconcile it.  And when I did I realized how arbitrary that is. That box doesn’t make me any more or less of the maternal donar to my children’s DNA.  They don’t somehow love me less because the state allots the respondent as the designated custodian.  It was a hard pill to swallow, but worth it.

Labels constrict you. And the attachment to them cause pain.  When you realize these man made labels are flawed and limited you can get past them.

So when he asks “who am I” my mind literally feels free and I answer, I’m me… right now. Not sure about tomorrow’s answer and that’s ok.