If it feels good, DON’T say it!!!

I’ve learned this the hard way, more than once.  I need to remember that showing up to every arguement only makes the issue persists and drags me down to the other persons level.

I’m listening to The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.  It’s all about differentiating between the self and the ego.  To argue with someone is allowing your ego to take over.  This is seldom to the benefit of anyone.

He uses the example of the fact that light travels faster than sound.  As evident by thunder and lightening.  He points out that stated as a fact doesn’t constitute ego.  It’s when you start trying to force someone else to agree that ego gets involved.

Take the current elections.  I’ve seen normally competent, rational people lose their minds trying to argue facts.  I’ve seen the candidates outright deny things they are on tape as saying.  This is ego.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t stand up for what’s right.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t educate yourself.  But spouting “facts” and waging a war doesn’t win you anything.  You can’t prove your sane by screaming you aren’t crazy.

If you are passionate it doesn’t make you right, or wrong.

I’ve stumped more people by stating my side, and refusing to argue with them.  I just shrug and smile and say, that’s just my take.  That makes them think far more than me screaming I’m right and your stupid ever would.

Take a step back and ask yourself why you must make someone agree with you.  Why do you hate the person who doesn’t?  Why do you triangulate when you disagree with someone.  And why do you send that nasty message to a stranger who’s only stating their belief?  What do you gain?

If we all just sat back, and listened, truly listened, we may find we are more alike than we currently realize.  Most people listen to formulate a rebuttal.  When you catch yourself stuttering or interrupting, step back.  It’s the pauses in life that bring us the most wisdom.


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