Epiphany!!

I’m reading this book and I just realized why I catapulted in my spirituality to where I am now.  I’m not perfect, but I took huge leaps very quickly and it all became clear on page 94. 

Deepak talks about how you can stop being ruled by self image, which causes you to become Unable to live in present reality. Self image is an accumulation of the past decisions you have made.  Therefore, letting that go is essential to move forward.

After my divorce and my moms death, every title I held was stripped away.  Mother, daughter, wife, lover,  50’s housewife, perfect.  That last one is a big one.

I had failed.  

And to fail means I’m no longer tied to being perfect.  And you know what?  I survived.  Once I realized I survived, I realized I THRIVED!  From there it snowballed.  

He keeps talking about “who am I” and the common answers.  I realized I couldn’t really relate to his lectures about this, because I didn’t do this anymore.

I have three kids.  But I’m not entangled with that as my image.  One checked box on our divorce paperwork ripped that away from me.  It took me a year to reconcile it.  And when I did I realized how arbitrary that is. That box doesn’t make me any more or less of the maternal donar to my children’s DNA.  They don’t somehow love me less because the state allots the respondent as the designated custodian.  It was a hard pill to swallow, but worth it.

Labels constrict you. And the attachment to them cause pain.  When you realize these man made labels are flawed and limited you can get past them.

So when he asks “who am I” my mind literally feels free and I answer, I’m me… right now. Not sure about tomorrow’s answer and that’s ok.

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