Neutral Friends


Ok.  So in general when you marry and divorce a narcissist the best answer is to just cut all ties. As unfair as that is, it’s usually essential.  In my case, all my friends were mutual friends.  So I cut some ties, pushed some friends behind my castle wall, and then 3 I allowed limited access inside.

These 3 usually prove that I made the right choice.  2 for sure.  The other 1 I am struggling with.

In the past I’ve told him some of the particularly horrid stuff my ex has done.  Because, he’s my friend, and I think he should know what’s going on.  Last night his Fiancée told me he always would complain when I did that.  Saying it makes him uncomfortable. 

Normally, if I make someone uncomfortable I apologize.  And my immediate response was to do that.  Then I thought.  Wait.  FUCK that.  He should feel uncomfortable.  He refers to me as being his sister, and my ex being his brother.  Would he stand by any allow anyone to treat his blood siblings like this?  

My guess is no.  Or if he would, I don’t want him as a friend.

It really speaks to how we are as a society of you think about it.  We have gotten so PC that if anything makes our tummys feel funny, we hide.  Well, that’s not working.

If you see something that’s wrong, you need to act.  No, confrontation isn’t always the answer.  But sometimes it is.  In my case, my friend could make a huge impact by saying “dude, that’s not cool.  She’s your kids mom.  Get over yourself”. 

In the end, if he loses a friend, so he it, at least his friends will have morals.  Likely though, it would actually stop the bullshit, and help make things better.

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